I’ll be writing today about a subject that’s a little different from the usual, and also tell you about a stressful couple of weeks we’ve had.
For many years, Steve’s PSA (prostate-specific antigen) was about 1.5. Then, recent bloodwork showed that his PSA had gone up to a 5 in less than a year. His urologist put him on an antibiotic to see if an infection might have caused the unusual increase; however, three weeks later, the number had gone up to 7.5
The number itself was not scary-high; normal is between 1.5 and 4. The scary part was that it increased so quickly.
A quote from a major medical site says this:
Those with a .75 PSA increase within a year show a worrisome risk for prostate cancer. Those with a 2.0 increase within a year are more likely to have an aggressive cancer.
So, going from a 1 to 7 got both the urologist’s attention and our attention. Steve was immediately scheduled for a biopsy.
As you can imagine, after the biopsy, our stress level was pretty high. As a rule, we would always tell our kids about things like this but Nathan and the family were on a rare, 2-week vacation, and the last thing we wanted to do was disrupt their relaxation by giving them something to worry about. And since we hadn’t told Nathan and Meagan, we didn’t tell Gage and Sarah either.
So we were just hanging on to our news and our anxiety together.
We got up on Thursday, July 23rd, with the results of the biopsy looming. We felt like we’d waited forever, but now that the time had arrived, it was like we really didn’t want to find out.
We knew it could be three things:
We got to the clinic, Steve’s name was called, and we were escorted back to the room for The Wait.
If you’ve ever been in that sort of situation, you know exactly what The Wait feels like. Your entire future hangs on two or three words coming out of a doctor’s mouth.
Here is the non-inspiring room where we embarked upon The Wait.
We were only in the room for about five minutes when we heard the door behind us squeak open; we both took in the same deep breath without even realizing we were doing it. The doctor hadn’t even been in the room two seconds before he said, “Steve, it’s all good. No cancer.”
Whoosh! All the stress of waiting and built-up anxiety dissipated almost without us realizing how heavily we were carrying it.
The doctor spent a few minutes explaining things and said he had no clinical explanation for why Steve’s PSA had gone up so quickly. He wants him to be checked again in six months, just to be sure all is well.
There’s nothing quite like a cancer scare to put things in perspective.
Steve and I are breathing much easier, and our minds are free of trying to think through all the challenges we would be dealing with if different words had come from that doctor’s mouth. We will just continue living and enjoying our lives together and being grateful that we didn’t have to face what our family has faced twice before.
This couple celebrated their 14th wedding anniversary on July 23.
For those of you who have been around here since Nathan was twelve, you probably feeling a little oldish right now. You and me both!
They have enjoyed their time in Florida except for one “small” detail.
Meagan had been experiencing increasing pain all throughout last week, and finally, Saturday night, as they were packing to head home Sunday, Nathan insisted she go to the emergency room. The last thing anybody wants is a medical emergency on the interstate with four children.
It’s a good thing she went in because she was admitted to the hospital that night and scheduled for surgery Sunday morning. And that means that yesterday morning, instead of loading up the car to drive back to North Carolina, Meagan was in the hospital having surgery to remove her gall bladder. She had two stones, one of which was trapped in her bile duct so she was in a lot of pain.
The family will still stay in Florida for an extra couple of days and then make their way back home when they are cleared by her doctor. Thankfully, the emergency happened when they were near Meagan’s family so they are being cared for very well.
Sometimes it’s medical, sometimes it’s relational, sometimes it’s job-related, sometimes it’s financial.
But one of my favorite verses (Lamentations 3:22-23) says, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
When Steve and I got out of bed last Thursday and got ready to hear his biopsy results, we knew God’s mercies for the day were new–and they were enough.
When Meagan woke up in the hospital yesterday morning, preparing for surgery, she knew God’s mercies for the day were new–and they were enough.
Whatever might be going on in your life right now, may you feel His mercy today.
What about you?
Have your past couple of weeks held anything unexpected or challenging?
Have you ever had an unexpected surgery? Or waited in an exam room for results?
Our heat index this week is at around 109. How about where you live?
Were you reading the blog back when Nathan was a kid?
Becky, I’m happy you and Steve received good news FAST in that very glum looking office space! How great that the doc didn’t waste any time giving you the results!
We never know what people are dealing with. I’m glad you and Steve had each other, and your faith, as you nervously waited, giving your kids a break from that worry and stress. And it’s wonderful you know they are there for you, if needed. So glad Meagan and family were not on the open road, got some help – from medical experts and family, and she’s on the mend! What a beautiful verse from Lamentations. I’m wondering if I can program my alarm clock to say those words on repeat as I awaken each morning?!
This week my brother-in-law got results back from some tests involving lung lesions. No cancer, but still some serious issues, as you are well aware of. So hard, as my sister is just ending treatment for some aggressive breast cancer. I was waiting with them in a virtual exam room, knowing she would fill me in when the time was right.
I’ve been reading since the Caringbridge days, or maybe just before you started that page. Someone I knew had a link to your sight. Sarah is the same age as my youngest daughter. Especially when you post on Sarah’s birthday, I’m reminded of how many NB patients are no longer with us.
I also homeschooled my kids, and couldn’t imagine all you were dealing with, while living out of your truck! 20+ years ago life was so different, and now we have turned into our parents! How did that happen so fast?!
Ann,
I agree; that was a very glum office. But I’ll take good news in a glum office all day long!
Thankfully there was no cancer for your brother-in-law, but any sort of lesions on the lung are scary. And also to come on the heels of your sister’s treatment makes it all the more wearying. I’m glad they have you in their corner.
Very grateful for all of my CB readers who have been here for such a very long time. Thank you for following our story and the story of all those other brave children–some of whom did not make it. We are thankful every day.
Yes, homeschooling on the road (and in and around Sarah’s illness) was a challenge! It’s hard to believe those years are so far behind us. And I agree that somehow we have turned into our parents. 🙂
I have been reading since Sarah Smith’s Spot. I was in college then. I’m now 44, so about the age you were when you started writing it I suppose? It certainly blows my mind that Nathan himself has children that are so grown up. It feels like he was just graduating high school.
I have a 7 year old son. I savor the days with him because he’ll be grown up before I know it, too. I already cry looking at pictures of him as a baby and toddler. Over forever. Hopefully I’ll be able to dote on grandchildren one day!
Unfortunately one of the things that has happened since I began reading your blog was that I got married.. and then divorced. I feel very ashamed of that. I wish I’d gotten it right the first time and had a lifetime with someone, like you and Steve have enjoyed. However, I am in a relationship now with a fella I’ve known since my own high school days. He has type 1 diabetes (the autoimmune kind you usually acquire as a kid). It comes with semi regular unexpected emergencies. Today he had a blood vessel burst in his retina, a consequence of diabetic retinopathy. Had to whisk him out of work and to the eye surgeon to have it treated.
Really glad Meghan is ok, and Steve is ok, and you can all breathe for awhile. Xoxo
Ellen,
Sarah Smith’s Spot. I had forgotten that title; that brings back a lot of memories.
Yes, I know how it feels to look back wistfully at the days my kids were younger. Precious moments and memories and, happily, more moments and memories yet to be made!
I’m sorry you had to go through a divorce; that is such a rending of heart and life. I’m thankful for God’s new mercies and new hope as you move forward in life.
That’s a scary thing to deal with a burst blood vessel in the retina; I hope the treatment was successful.
Thanks for following along since you were a college student. Wow–that is amazing you’ve been here that long.
Gosh, met you before Sarah was born and reading the blog forever! Yeah, the last 2 years have had some lengthy desert experiences…that strengthened my grip on the Lord and grew my faith that He had my back and never abandoned me. In the midst, it was HARD! Head vs heart knowledge. PTL Steve is clear! PTL Meghan was near family! 90 at 4 pm in my backyard in Ledyard CT…ugh.
Guerrina,
I had forgotten we met before Sarah even existed. She’ll be thirty soon so that’s a long time!
Sounds like you’ve come out of two years of difficulty with a stronger faith and a deeper dependence on God. Life can be hard sometimes; it makes those small moments of joy along the way all the more golden. Here’s praying for joy for your journey.
Prayers for Megan as she recovers. Long time reader from waaay back in the CB days. Nathan has always been a good big brother! So thankful for His mercies, so very thankful. Thanking the LORD for Steve’s great news from his biopsy. We’re still waiting … husband got a “ bad “ report from his biopsy in April . Within two weeks he saw his highly regarded urologist of 2 years who is willing to operate despite my husband’s age , has seen a radiologist oncologist etc … husband went to Vanderbilt ( had to go by himself bc I am unable to travel ) to see if a specific dr would agree to operate , but this dr’s team disagrees with the biopsy slides from first biopsy . Quickest appt for another biopsy ( which will be a mri guided biopsy/ the first biopsy was not ) is in September. The waiting is truly a challenge. I have to remind myself that our hope is not in Dr “ John Doe , “ nor is our hope in Vanderbilt, but our hope is in Jesus. ( We have a learned a lesson that when one seeks a second opinion to make sure that includes someone who actually examines the biopsy slides like Vanderbilt did . We had taken that for granted .) Anxiety is high , thick enough to cut with a knife , but we know this has not caught God off guard , and He is a good , good God. Trusting Him and knowing that Romans 8:38 is our verse to cling to in this hard season as well as a good season . We have so much to thank God for and doing our best to recall all the many times He has delivered my husband through so many medical issues over the decades. God is always faithful to His promises.
Dee,
Oh my. What a journey you are on, with the original diagnosis and then waiting so long for a second opinion and surgery. We only had to wait a week and I thought I’d never make it.
It sounds like you and your husband are veterans at this and know where your hope and strength come from. But just because you’ve done it before doesn’t make it any easier; it never gets easier.
I love what you said about God never being caught off guard. You and your husband have got this and He has got YOU! Please let me know how things go. Hugs to you both.
(And thanks for reading since CB days!)
Praisee God for no cancer for Steve, and that Meagan went to the ER while she was with family and not “on the road”. Prayers for her healing and an easy trip back to NC when cleared to travel.
My past couple of weeks have been fairly stress-free…I’m an “old-timer” following since Nathan was young…Thankfully DFW has yet to ‘Officially” hit 100 at the airport, but we’ve been under heat warnings for multiple days due to “feels like” over 105. The news just mentioned the possibility of a “cold front” later in the week. Praying it drops the temps at least 5-10 degrees…My only unexpected surgery was my emergency c-section with my first child – my placenta abrupted due to pre-eclampsia while I was being induced. I caused quite the stir, because two of my doctors were pulled away from a “learning luncheon” they were presenting on-site to do the surgery. (And almost 39 years later I still remember the last words I heard before “going under” were one doctor saying to the other “Richard, I think we should do a verticle incision, what about you?”)…I hope you have a wonderful and stree-free rest of your week.
Sue Ellen,
It’s funny when a cold front means 80 degrees. 🙂 That’s what we’re expecting this week and I am so excited!
I think it’s so funny that you remember the words of the one surgeon to the other. Isn’t that crazy what the brain chooses to remember? I’m glad the “vertical incision” brought you a sweet baby.
Thanks for hanging around with us for such a long time; we appreciate you!
Think I started to hold my breath too before you gave the results of Steve’s biopsy. Wow – PTL. Hope the doctor will continue to try and find out what happened. Meagan, bless her heart. So glad she was able to have the operation and near family when this happened. Those verses are some of my favorites too. Thankful for His mercies!!!
Sharyn,
I’m not sure why we hold our breath when waiting on something but I guess it’s just instinct. Nice to be able to breathe out in relief.
Yes, we’re very thankful Meagan was near family for the surgery. They should be heading back to NC today or tomorrow.
Hi there! I am so happy that Steve’s test results were clear. I am sure you were anxious during that wait. Interestingly, my phone wanted
to autocorrect wait to weight. Hmmm. It knew! It sure was weight as well.
You may remember my own cancer story from our Sarah. And the wait turned to weight. And her healing happened in Heaven. And for that, we will choose to be grateful. Our prayers were answered, it was just that the answer was no.
I have been around since the CaringBridge days, approximately 2005. I feel like I have watched both of your children grow up and have prayed many prayers over Sarah‘s journey and later, yours as well.
It is extremely hot in South Georgia, but interestingly, about the same heat as you’re having in North Carolina. It will just make fall all the sweeter!!
I’m glad that Megan is recovering and will be able to travel home soon. I had an emergency gallbladder removal back in 2009. It wasn’t fun for sure, but I felt so much better after it was over.
Lisa,
Reading since 2005 is a long time- an entire generation! Thank you so much for your prayers over the years for Sarah and all of us. We appreciate you!
Yes, I do remember you writing about your sweet Sarah’s cancer journey and that her home is in heaven, now. God’s answers are certainly not always the answers our hearts long for. It sounds like you’ve learned to trust Him through one of the very hardest things we can ever experience. I love that our daughters share the same name and will meet in heaven one day.
Glad to hear Steve is okay. My husband had a similar prostate scare not long ago. He also came down with excruciating abdominal pain about a month ago and had to have his gallbladder out also. Luckily it seemed like a pretty easy surgery to recover from for him, so hope Meagan has the same experience! And yes, I started following Sarah’s story on Caringbridge so I’ve been around a while!
Melissa,
Those scares are very scary, aren’t they? A prostate issue and a gallbladder issue all within the same period of time is not fun. I’m glad to hear it was not a difficult recovery.
I know Meagan is very eager to get back on her feet and back into life. And will hopefully feel a whole lot better in general.
Thanks for being a CB follower!
So glad you got to here “no cancer”. Prayers for Megan as she recovers.
Our last week wasn’t unexpected, but I had a “scrape and burn” procedure for a squamous cell on my arm Monday, and my husband had trigger finger surgery on Friday. We are both doing well afterward.
My husband has had unexpected surgery a couple of times. As with Megan we were grateful to be in the right place at the right time. We have also waited many times for results, never easy waiting.
We have been in the 90’s, but high humidity. I can’t image 109!
I started reading Caring Bridge when Sarah was at Duke, and then moved to your blog at some point.
Patti,
Oooh, those scrape and burn procedures are never fun; thankful everything was dealt with on that and your husband is doing well after his surgery.
I’ve never had unexpected surgery but since even regular surgery is disconcerting, I can’t imagine having it be unplanned!
Thanks for reading so long. Those Caring Bridge days were a long time ago!
Do grateful for good news. Prayers for Meaghan to have a complete recovery. Hugs from Iowa.
Marjie,
Thanks so much for being grateful with us and praying with us for Meagan.
Always good to hear from an Iowan, my home state!
HAPPY HAPPY NEWS FOR STEVE!! Poor Meagan! I had a bad gallbladder with no stones so it took 2 years for doctors to figure it out. Glad she was close to support for her and fam.
I too have heard the C word, but I am years cancer free so I rejoice!!
Seems like unexpected challenges most days between work and home. Happy to say nothing major. 🙂
I have been following you since caring bridge days. Nathan and Sarah were very young.
It is beyond HOT like you over 100 with heat index. Praying for all those that do not have relief from the heat and those that have to work in it, and of course all police, fire, rescue workers!
Have a great week!
Eswim,
Yes, the police, fire and rescue heroes are my heroes under any circumstance but especially with this weather. They get out there and make a difference, despite doing that work in the middle of an oven.
I know those two years must have felt like forever to you until the doctors could figure out what was going on with your gall bladder. And happy day that you have been cancer free for many years! I’m at 15 years and very grateful.
And thank you for following along with our story so many years; that is amazing!
Wow, a lot!!! We have been through the same PSA thing with my hubby. Thankfully it wasn’t cancer. He has had a melanoma on his back but it was years ago and hasn’t returned, thank God!! I have had breast cancer and I felt that same stomach seizing up thingy you both felt waiting for the doc to come in the room, when you were writing about it. It is horrible!!! I lost my mama five weeks ago and dealing with my hubby have a non curable, neurological brain disease, and my grandson getting ready to go to Japan on vacation for two weeks and my anxiety is out the roof. I am leaning on God. He gets me through all of it and more. How do people live without Him?? Congrats to Nathan and Meagan on 14 years!! Wow, time flies. I had to have emergency surgery in 1980 to have my gallbladder taken out. They cut me six inches across to do mine and now they poke holes and pull it out thru those…. not fair. It took me forever to get over it. Praying she is doing good. I hope y’all have a blessed week with no surprises. Unless they are good ones. Love and hugs from Mt. Airy, NC
Kaye,
Yes, I am very grateful that gall bladder surgery has been improved in recent years. Those four little slits are a whole lot better that what you had to go through.
So sorry to know you are experiencing so much anxiety. Sometimes it seems like things come at us so fast in life we can hardly keep up or hold on. I know you are leaning on everlasting arms!
Happy anniversary to Nathan and Meagan and a speedy recovery to her as well! Yes, I’ve been reading this blog since Nathan was a young man. Hard to believe he’s all grown up with his own family now.
We also are having the oppressive heat indexes. Thank goodness for AC!!
Back in ’88 I got my biopsy results. Thyroid cancer but very curable. Still very anxious times. So happy for you and Steve to get good news!!
Lee Anne,
Thanks for being an “old-timer” around here. I am so honored that so many people have followed along through a couple of decades.
Yes, anytime “biopsy results” are on the horizon, it produces anxiety. So glad your cancer was curable and you’re doing so well!
Fortunately, the last few weeks have been boring! I had unexpected surgery when I fell and broke my femur.The hospital where I had my lung biopsy has a phenomenal portal, so as I was reading a book on my computer, I got my “malignant” diagnosis at midnight. Fortunately my psychatrist son lives in the west coast, so my midnight is his 9 p.m. so I could call him and talk and listen. We’ve only gone up to the low 90s, 96 in my apartment. I was reading your Caring Bridge site when Nathan was a kid. Happy anniversary to them. I think it would be fun for you to post the song you and Meagan sang as she walked down the aisle every year on their anniversary!
It is 76 degrees in my apartment, NOT 96. (Whew!) I wish I’d learn to proofread EVEYTHING!
Jan,
I’m glad you added your correction; I was going to fly to California and bring you a fan it was 96 degrees in your apartment! 🙂
Yikes. Getting a malignant diagnosis on your computer late on night, while alone, is a lot to deal with. Thankful for a good son who listened with his education but more importantly, with his heart. You’re blessed!
Can you believe you’ve been hanging around here since Nathan was a kid? That is a really long time and I am very honored.
I’ll make a note to play that song on the next Thing Post. 🙂
I’m SO HAPPY that Steve’s biopsy returned good news. Whew!
Poor Meagan! I had a recalcitrant gall bladder with a stuck stone and it is sooo painful! Glad they were able to do surgery where she had a lot of support!
My husband is having an unexpectedly urgent surgery tomorrow for revision of a previous surgery that has, apparently, failed. We are concerned but trust the doctor’s expertise.
It’s been soooo hot here. We’ve been under an “excessive heat warning” since July 18, and it isn’t set to expire until this coming Wednesday. We’ve had similar heat indices here. I’ve barely ventured outdoors the past couple of weeks!
and yes – I remember tiny Nathan and tiny Sarah!
Stefanie,
Tiny Nathan and tiny Sarah. Awwww . . . my mama heart just melted.
I know it’s definitely an anxious time for you and your husband but glad you are comfortable with the doctor’s expertise. You’ll both be so glad when it’s over!
Nice to see a word like “indices” pop up. Not many people use it. 🙂