The Dare Challenge Dinner 2018 version is now on the books and was another great year. (For a preliminary post about it, go here.)
I had mentioned in Monday’s post that I would explain about the toppled table in the hallway. Well, here’s the explanation.
In the midst of doing his regular church stuff and caring for his ailing-with-strep spouse (I was on an antibiotic so not contagious at the dinner), Steve also decided to wage war on the kitchen floor in preparation for the big gathering.
For nine years, we have rued the condition of that old floor; countless scrubbings have done nothing to shift the built up wax and permanent dirty-looking appearance.
Well, Steve decided to get really, really serious about it. He moved the kitchen table and chairs out of the way . . .
applied a floor stripper and scrubbed every inch on his hands and knees. He then came back over with a mop numerous times to rinse it.
I think we can all agree that a mopping husband is a handsome husband!
When he was all done, it looked so much better. Even Summer gave it the Official Yorkie Sniff of Approval.
As in years past, I gathered up all my serving utensils so that we weren’t scrambling at the last moment.
The tables were festively festooned.
Here’s Sarah grabbing a quick breather before yet another mom-asked task.
In the midst of all the activity, one of the best parts of the day was hearing the doorbell ring and opening the door to find dear folks from our congregation bringing the many things they had signed up to provide–from homemade desserts to side dishes to yeast rolls to cornbread. One guy even cooked both the ham and the turkey for us, which brought me great happiness since I am intimidated by the cooking of large pieces of meat for large gatherings.
The guys were due to arrive at 4:45 p.m. and at 4:30 p.m I was still in old sweat pants with the barest minimum of make up. I sprinted up the stairs as speedily as possible (not very) and threw on jeans, boots and a top. I availed myself of some Maybelline, applied a brush to the mop atop my head and then sprinted (even less speedily) back down the stairs just in time to open the front door to thirteen wonderful fellas. (We were also joined for the fifth year by a local police officer, Doug, and his wife, Misty.)
As always, we joined in a circle to pray before eating. Steve asked everyone to pray a sentence prayer and as the words were spoken, tears gathered in my eyes. One man simply said, “Thank you God, that I am alive.” I had to believe that there was quite a story behind that simple statement. Some talked about mercy and grace and second chances and some prayed for their own families.
A sweet beginning to a sweet evening.
It didn’t take long for the plates to start filling up with all manner of cooked wonderfulness.
As before, I put out place mats with labels for each kind of food; that made it easier to know where to put things at the last minute when the time crunch was on.
This little guy in the window presided over the feasting, no doubt offering his own prayer of thanks that he had escaped unscathed.
When the meal was over the guys, as always, insisted on doing dishes.
As I was in the kitchen lending a hand one of the men drew me aside and said, “I just want to thank you for having us all here tonight. If you hadn’t invited us, we wouldn’t have had a family to be with or a home cooked meal to eat tonight. I just want you to know that it means a whole lot to all of us–AND to our families who knew we were being taken care of on Thanksgiving.”
That one conversation alone was worth it all!
After the dishes has been done, a couple of the guys broke out a chessboard . . .
and another guy discovered a book on airplanes.
A few others said they wanted to do some singing.
It turns out we had some angels among us to sing along.
And just because I want you to experience the evening for yourself, I put together a video clip of a few of the songs we sang. The lights and candles wreaked a little havoc with the video quality but the voices are clear and that’s what counts.
You can hear Sarah and Becca laughing and singing a little; for most of the video, they were sitting right beside me and my camera. Speaking of Sarah, Steve asked a couple of guys to guess her age and they all said 15 or 16. They were pretty taken aback when they learned that she was as old as many of them.
One thing that really strikes me as I listen back to the songs is not just the simple joy in the room but also the genuine hilarity! These guys have probably spent more than a few Thanksgivings high on drugs or alcohol and I’m sure they’ve had some fun and rowdy times in those conditions. But to be stone sober and to be even happier than when they were stoned and unsober? The transformation of their lives is the very definition of a miracle.
Just a note: In the video you will hear them sing “Just Want to Make You Smile,” which is also known by the guys as the “Hooty-Hoot Song” because they sing “hoo-hoo’s” during the intro. Steve wrote that song just for the residents of Dare Challenge and the various groups of guys have been singing it for years.
So here’s the video. You probably can’t NOT smile as you listen. (Edited to add: As Sharyn cherrily pointed out, that sentence contained a double negative, which my sentences usually do not. But somehow, that’s just the description this video needed!)
It occurred to me that we had pulled out the guitar on other Thanksgiving meals, one of them going all the way back to 2012 when this VERY young lady was on hand to video.
A picture of a few of the guys from 2012.
In closing, I wanted to say something about one of the songs in the video called, “Hello, My Name Is.” It is an amazing song with the verses talking about being called names of shame and failure and then the chorus turning it all around and saying, “Hello, my name is child of the one true King.”
When those guys sing those words, they really sing them. And mean them!
And that ties in so well with the printed place cards we had prepared for each man with the origin and definition of his name. Every year several of them say to us, “Can we take these cards home with us? I never knew the meaning of my name. That is really cool.”
And they leave with that place card tucked into their pockets and a reminder tucked into their hearts that their old identity and name (drug addict, law-breaker, alcoholic, thief) has been replaced by their new identity . . . a child of the one true King.
What about you?This is a more serious question, but has there been a good change in YOUR life, a transition from a not-so-great-place where you used to be, to where you are now? Would any of you like to share your story?
It is great that you do this year in and year out! I know that you have help from members of your church but just opening your house to that many extra people is an undertaking!
No story from me. A few weeks ago, I went to see the movie Beautiful Boy – it’s based on a true story and is the story of a father and his son who suffers from drug addiction. It was really intense but really made me think about addiction.
Hope you are feeling better.
Phyllis,
Yes, I was very thankful to have the people in the church help with cooking. It was all I could do to get the house together. It’s nice to work with a team when hosting an event like this; everyone gets to share the joy.
I don’t usually comment, but I thought I would today because I was particularly struck by your Thanksgiving post this yeat. Last year I was in a psychiatric hospital on Thanksgiving alongside many others who were away from their families. Thanksgiving takes on a while new meaning when you are away from your family in a fight for your life. I have spent much of the past year in psychiatric hospitals and residential treatment, and I can say for a fact that being welcomed in to a family when you are feeling unlovable is a gift beyond words. I’m so glad you are able to give that gift to folks who are working so hard to be who they know they can be.
Robin,
I’m so thankful you DID comment even though you usually don’t. It is when I hear from brave, struggling, not-giving-up people like you that I am especially grateful to be a blogger and to have the chance to connect with strong and amazing people and hear their stories. Thank you for being real with where you are and where you’ve been and for being brave enough to share your journey.
The last line you wrote tells me that you are headed in a good direction. You said, “… folks who are working so hard to be who they know they can be.” You have grabbed a hold of the truth that where you are is not where you are going to stay. Your time in treatment and the hard work you have put in are paving a new road for you.
I’m so proud of you and so thankful you took the time to connect with me (and the Smithellaneous readers) today. Don’t give up! God has you in His loving and strong hands and will never leave you alone.
Your Dare program should be in every state. It really seems like a remarkable program. Your photos really show how addiction can hit anyone regardless of class, race, age, etc. and how those facing addiction need love and kindness in their lives. I hope you can spread the word to other congregations throughout the US and maybe more people will open their home to those in a recovery program during the holidays and for other events. Every year your Dare Thanksgiving posts make me shed some tears because their is so much good being spread by your family. I’m sure those men will remember this Thanksgiving forever.
Rachel,
Dare Challenge is actually an offshoot of Teen Challenge, a program founded in 1958 and has 200 locations. They have men and womens’ programs alike for teens and adults. It is a wonderful ministry. The founder of the program wrote a book called The Cross and the Switchblade which, while a few decades old, is am amazing and inspiring story.
And yes, it would be wonderful if people hosted the brave people who are in recovery programs. They need all the cheering along the way they can get!
Thanks for letting me know that the Dare Challenge posts are meaningful to you; I am so thankful to know that.
I always look forward to the Dare Challenge post! The meal, fellowship and love that you show these men is just amazing and so wonderful! Well done, all of you. 🙂
LeeAnne,
It is a night to remember, for sure! I’ve always said our family is blessed more than than the men; it brings such joy to do that meal for them.
What a wonderful telling of your Dare Challenge Thanksgiving…when reading this, I realize how much I truly have to be thankful for.
Sue Ellen,
You are so right. Our list of thanksgivings is almost endless, isn’t it?
Wow, what a great video. Yes, you can’t NOT help but smile – going to attribute that double negative to your not feeling good. 🙂
Was wondering, do they stay in the program for a certain time, and those that are no longer in the program, can they come back for Thanksgiving? Again, thank you for opening your home to these men – to hear the joy of the Lord is wonderful. Thanks also to your congregation for bringing the food to help feed these men. PTL all around.
Sharyn,
Yes, I knew I had written a double negative but it just seemed like the thing to say for that video. 🙂
Yes, they do stay for a certain time. I think it’s around 9 months for the first stage, and then they can move on to second stage from there. And if a former student was back in the area at Thanksgiving, we would be delighted to have him join us at the dinner!
First, I must say, there is nothing quite as satisfying as a festively festooned table.
I think this is the post I look forward to the most each year. It’s hard to put in words how special you are for opening your home to these men. Every year, a tear or 2 is shed as I read the blog.
Fun, food, friends, family, music, Summer…what else is there?
Krista,
The dinner is most definitely a joyful, thankful occasion–for the students and the Smith family alike. We are just grateful it has worked out for us to do it.
Even Summer has warmed up to the occasion and instead of running upstairs to hide, she has started making the rounds of the guys and “allowing them” to feed her Cheerios. 🙂
Such a testimony and wonderful memories for the guys. Your family is a true blessing to them. Special post each year.
Ann,
Wonderful memories, is right! I think we will ALL look back on these gatherings with smiles for many years to come.
Absolutely my favorite post every year. What your family does for these men is simply incredible. That is such a beautiful song and I am passing it along to my niece who could use these encouraging words. When I first started reading the post and you mentioned your floor, I thought to myself “Oh no, Steve decided to replace it at the last minute”. Thank goodness he didn’t but it wouldn’t have surprised me if he had taken on a task like that at the 11th hour. 🙂 Bravo Smith Family. You have done it again.
Mel,
That was so funny you thought Steve was replacing the floor because that is EXACTLY something he would do. But unfortunately we didn’t have an extra few thousand dollars lying around so the stripping/rinsing/waxing route was the way to go.
I’m glad you liked that song. It has such amazing, truthful, encouraging lyrics.
After wandering through these beautiful words and pictures, it occurred to me that words like “amazing” and “incredible” are insufficient to describe the Smith family. I tried to think of a word, but my old brain just couldn’t find it. Then I realized that there is a word… the Smith family is LOVE. I’m so honored to know you. Finally, lest your readers miss it, there is a close up picture of Pastor Steve playing that beautiful guitar. He’s playing a barre chord. So what? Well, it is an accomplishment that many can’t achieve… including me. 😉
Fred,
I remember when I was first taught a barre chord by my guitar teacher when I was about 13 years old. I thought it was the hardest thing I had ever seen. I did eventually play with barre chords a little without too much struggle but after a while, I gave them up for the easier chords. (And since RA has come to visit, I don’t play guitar any more at all.)
But yes, Steve has definitely got those chords down! He plays them without a second thought and plays them well. He does love him some guitar! 🙂
Thanks for your encouraging words about your family; we truly appreciate you and Lucy.
What a wonderful day you provide those men. I agree with Deb, 3 cheers, bravo and lots of hoorays!!
Kathy,
Another day to add to the Dare Challenge Thanksgiving Memory Banks. We are grateful we get to be a part of the stories of these men.
Both thumbs up, 3 cheers, bravo, and general hoorays! ? Well done, Smiths, well done. ♡
Love, Deb
Deb,
Thanks for the 3 cheers! Actually you can give two of the cheers to the guys and just 1 to us. 🙂
We always appreciate your encouragement.