I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago about my rheumatologist saying she was about 80% sure I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. He said, “Well, my mom goes to a rheumatologist who told her that if she would have come to him first, she wouldn’t be in the shape she’s in now.”
Well, those words certainly caught my attention! It didn’t take me long to get that doctor’s number and make an appointment.
(Although I had really liked the first rheumatologist, as far as her bedside manner and people skills, I didn’t feel like she had been as thorough as she should have been.)
Even though the new doctor (who I saw yesterday), is 2 1/2 hours from Manteo, he was well worth the trip. In fact, even before I actually met him, I was already impressed with him, not only because of the recommendation of my friend but also because he had served as Head of Rheumatology at Walter Reed Hospital for eight years.
While my first rheumatologist had spent less than ten minutes doing an initial assessment, this new doctor spent forty-five minutes; in the process, he discovered that at least twelve of my joints have been affected. (Which was actually sort of discouraging because I hadn’t thought that it was that widespread.)
The previous doctor had put me on a low dose steroid which this new doctor quadrupled; he told me to continue with the Plaquenil and also added Methotrexate and folic acid. (The folic acid has to be taken to offset some of the effects of the Methotrexate.)
When I finally left his office, I felt encouraged knowing that I had found a doctor who really knew his stuff; however, I was a little discouraged, too. I was discouraged by the fact that I’ve seen a worsening of my symptoms, even in the last six months. I was discouraged by the number of joints that have been affected. And I was discouraged that the medications I have to start taking have some not-so-great side effects like weight gain, hair thinning, nausea, vomiting, etc.
And today when I woke up, I still felt the lingering after effects of yesterday’s appointment, the inescapable reminder that I’m no longer a spring chicken with a healthy, strong body. That wonderful health and strength I had in my younger days has been pretty well stomped on by cancer, COPD, and now rheumatoid arthritis.
Although I don’t really feel I have the right to complain when so many other people have it so much worse than I do, I will admit to you that I feel discouraged today. And old. I feel afraid of the future, afraid of the day when my hands might no longer be able to do all the things they can do right now–play the piano, cut an apple, take a picture, type a blog entry.
And as much as I hate to admit it, while I usually try to end my posts on an up note, I don’t really have a positive spin to put on today’s post. I guess its purpose is not so much to inspire, but just to say that I’m having a tough day.
Thanks for reading. Thanks for listening. Thanks for caring.
Praying for you here in Idaho, Becky. I prescribe strawberries dipped in dark chocolate, a long, hot bubble-bath, a hug from Sarah, a phone call from Nathan & Meghan, AND a hug and a ballad from your sweet Steve!
Hi Becky,
I wrote you earlier when you were first told you may have RA. I’m 32 and had it as a child and got adult RA when I was 27. The Methotrexate will make you tired the next day… and don’t be discourage because it takes at least six weeks for it to work. I have been on all of the meds that you are on, so email me if you have any questions. I am currently taking an shot twice a month and plaquenil three days a time. For the first time since 2007 I’m in REMISSION!
Jennifer,
So happy to hear you have reached remission; that’s encouraging to hear!!
Praying for you to have positive results from the treatments you are going to be starting with minimum side effects. Our neighbor had very good results from treatment and is able to function pretty much normally now.
Praying for you today. You are always such a blessing to all of your readers that it seems only fair that we can take some time to be a blessing to you today.
Praying for you. Hope you find relief and have a better day tomorrow.
Prayers, hugs & chocolate: these things always make everything better, especially the chocolate!! Praying that you start feeling better soon!!
I’m sorry Becky. Praying for you!
I hope the new meds work for you with little or no side effects!! My mother in law has RA, and it is very discoruaging to see the effects! I think we are all allowed to have those days where we are not the one cheering up people, but the one that needs a little cheering! Just know that you are loved and thought of, and prayed for…:) If you need some entertainment.. I am attaching a link from my twins dress rehearsal for their dance recital last night… it is hip hop with Christian music… “I’ll Fly Away”… sure to make you laugh and put a smile on your face!!!
Tiffany,
The video, the dancing, the song, the joy–loved it!
Ahhh Becky, getting older is so hard and often depressing. I work with the ‘old folk’ in my job and they are a constant reminder of where I am headed. Quite the reality check, and their many discouragements are palpable. All we can do is our best, and having a wonderful doctor can make all the difference. It sounds like you are in good hands. The Lord is in charge of the rest. Hopefully, when you wake in the morning, you will feel a little better.
Hey Becky, although we (your readers) appreciate your efforts in putting a positive spin at the end of your blog articles – don’t forget that it is a two-way street. AT LEAST! 😉 It’s only fair that sometimes WE get to put the positive spin on YOUR articles in OUR remarks. We just spent a week in Kill Devil Hills and went to Manteo on two of those days – just to walk around and enjoy your heavenly environment! The boardwalk behind the visitors center is always so uplifting, and usually provides some great photo opportunities. Finally, your article encourages people, like me, to seek out another doctor when things just don’t seem right with the one you are seeing. I think your new doc is already putting a positive spin on your treatment and your life! 🙂 Fred & Lucy
Dear Becky, I’m so sorry to hear this news. My grandmother had RA back in 1940’s before there were treatments. It affected every joint in her body. But she was able to teach me to sew & cook as my mom was a busy farm wife. Granny lived to be 87. My mother has since developed RA. Please becareful taking the Methotrexate as it caused my mother to have lymphoma. As soon as she stopped the “meth” as mom called it the lymphoma went away. My mom is 89 and works with me around the farm, the same farm where Mom grew up. Yes, we still live in my grandparents home they built in 1910. I moved around the states and finally found peace when I came “home”. Thank you for your inspriations and take care. Keeping you in my prayers.
In reading the other comments, I think of you being in the middle of a circle and we are giving you a group hug. I pray the Lord will help you to feel his presence. Thankfully, you know the great Physician and He does care for you. May your plate, which is very full, begin to lose all the junk that is on there and be filled with the joy of the Lord, warm hugs, and days of knowing you’re loved.
I am so sorry, Becky, that you are dealing with RA.
Praying that your new doctor can find the right drugs to enable you to be active, happy, and pain-free!
Dear Becky…It certainly is a yucky day…sometimes the best we can do is tie a knot, hang on, and know that tomorrow (s) will be better! I guess…accept the yucky day, and go on to fight another day! Thinking of you..
Dear Becky,
As the years go by I’m learning more and more to love people for they weaknesses. And not because I’m a good, sweet kind of person, but because I think that our weaknesses, our “faults”, are often what makes us human and able to understand others’ pain. You are a special person, and this challenge will allow you to grow, to give and receive even more love. 🙂
Olivia.
Praying for you, dear Becky. I think the most frightening thing we face as we get older – at least for me – is the nagging thought that someday we may need the help of others as we face our daily routines. . . .It is a fear that many of us have to commit to the Lord Jesus almost daily, I would imagine. . . .
I hate to hear that Becky. I hate to hear of anyone suffering from something that will make them old before their time. I have peripheral neuropathy and have a hard time walking for long periods of time…I am 57. Now I am on Arimidex for five years or more and it alone has so many icky side effects. I just take it a day at a time and pray that God will carry me. He always has.
Sending Prayers your way, Becky. I am sorry to hear about your RA. I have osteoarthritis and it is not fun but I try to keep busy and not let it get me down. I hope that the medications help and that you aren’t in too much pain and you get relief soon. Take care!
praying the new treatment helps you with minimal side effects. i am glad you found a neurologist you are comfortable with. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you….
Praying for strength for you today Becky!
Methotrexate? That is one of the chemos my son received during his cancer journey! I find it very interesting that it is used for RA….I guess you learn something new every day! I am praying it works for you. I am sure it is no fun being in constant pain. God bless.
Kristi,
Yep, that’s what the doctor told me when he prescribed it; that it is a mild form of chemo. Thank you for your prayers!
Dearest Becky, I’m glad you shared today. It’s hard to admit when we are fearful and in pain. I think it is what we all long for, to be seen, to be heard and to be acknowledged. When we are in a valley we need community to tell us, we’re there for you, we will walk this road with you, you don’t have to pretend with us, your story is always safe with us and we will wrap you in our love and prayers without judgement! That is exactly what I am saying to you! You are loved by many you have never met. We rejoice with you when you are happy and we stand with you when you are having a tough day. Don’t ever be afraid to say its a hard day we care about you – you know, for better or worse, in sickness and in health because that’s the very definition of friendship.
Wrapping you in love and prayer,
Holly
Dear Becky, I have followed you since Sarah’s Caring bridge days.This is the first time I am going to comment. You have every right to feel the way you do. I wish you happy healthy pain free days ahead. God Bless you
Ahmad,
I am always very happy to see a first time commenter; thanks so much for taking the time to do that!
We all love reading because you are REAL! Allowing us to wrap you in our prayers is an honor for every smithellaneous follower!
Love you and praying!
Praying for you. Thankful you found a physician who can help you as you go down this road and hopeful that you will be lifted up by so many with prayers that your cheeful self will be back soon.
Hugs from Iowa,
Marjie
Sweet Becky, I’m so sorry to hear that you have RA added to your plate! I think it’s good, though, that you’re taking the time to grieve for your losses.
I know that, in time, you’ll be able to do your Polyanna thing and look at all you still have (your faith, your wonderfully supportive family, your good looks), and put the RA into perspective. But for now, allow yourself time to be down. We’ll all even take over praying for you for a little while. 🙂
I’m sorry you lost time with a less than thorough doctor, but thank God you found this one. I don’t blame you for feeling down but let us all lift you up. We are here for you in support and caring. Thank you for sharing with us and for being so authentic. I hope you wake tomorrow feeling just a bit more chipper. In the meantime, this doctor prescribes CHOCOLATE!
Oh Becky, you have all the right in the world to be discouraged! I mean, RA sucks (sorry for the language here). I have arthritis too, although mine is more located in my spine and sacroiliac joints. That means my boyfriend (eh I mean, fiancé now!) has to help me get out of bed in the morning, put on my socks and my shoes. There are days I come home and burst out in tears because of the pain, discouragement and feeling that my body is so old and not cooperative (at 27). Yet, I shoudn’t complain either because I work in a Children’s hospital full of very sick kids… But at the same time, all my friends are well and sometimes I feel it’s unfair and I throw myself a pity party. And it’s ok to do that once in a while.
Anyway, if I can be a bit more reassuring, we have much better medications out there for arthritis (such as the anti-TNF’s) than we did in the past. Of course, you have to go through the steroids and MTX first, but then if the MTX isn’t enough, there’s more you can try, and they work well.
Hang in there, Becky. Sending positive vibes your way!
Renee,
So sorry to hear about all the arthritis challenges you’re having; I know it must be especially frustrating to you since you’re so young.
Thanks for taking the time to be an encouragement even in the midst of your own struggle.
I’m sorry, Beck. That is so hard. Sending love, a hug, and even a little plucking worriedly at your sleeve. :-}
Love deb
I don’t typically comment, although I have been following your family’s journey for years. While there have been sad days and bad days along the way your posts have always been able to put a positive spin on it. For you to not be able to this time shows this is really hitting you hard. So I wanted to take a moment and let you know I am thinking of you and praying for comfort and peace for you.
Shannon,
How sweet of you to take the time to leave a comment when you normally don’t; thank you for your encouraging words and your prayers
Becky, you have the right to be discouraged but I also “know” you enough that you will feel the prayers and such peace from those prayers that it will transcend the fears and sadness you feel right now. I have had some bad days lately also with health and other family issues, but prayers have seen me through and although I may have lost somethings, I have gained others. I have many joints affected by arthritis but I have just found ways to continue to do the things I want with my hands and my feet and my knees, etc. another way, a simpler way or a slower way. It comes down to just being a different way and you will find that also.
Becky, my friend, keep your head held high, find the chocolate and go EAT SOME!!!! Praying for you, always do, always will.
So glad you found a great doctor, and so sorry his diagnoses and recommendations were less than encouraging.
Becky, I am so sorry to hear this. I wish we weren’t separated by thousands of kilometers because I would drop by your house and give you a hug and tell you that I care. I can really relate to hard days. I’ve been pretty unwell lately. Please know you are not alone in what you face and you have many, many people who care about you. Even though we have never met, reading your cheerful blog has become a really great part of my day. I really appreciate you writing it. Know that God is with you as you face this challenge.
My dear sweet Becky, so sorry to hear first of the not so good news and but mostly that you are feeling sad and discouraged. You have encouraged me so many times with your upbeat posts and positive spin on life. Please know that I will be lifting you in prayer and hopefully you will have a better day tomorrow. Here is an online hug for you. (((((((hugs))))))))))
My prayers are with you. Hopefully this new doctor will be able to help you continue doing the things you love.
Praying for you my dear! So thankful that you found a wondrrful dr., and hopefully some soon relief!
Know there are many lifting you up with much prayer!