I just want to say thanks to all of you who left such dear comments last week; I have read them all several times and they have brought me smiles and (happy) tears. I feel so blessed to be a part of this community.
And epseically in light of what I went through in the past couple of weeks, I want to share with you another family’s story today, one which has truly moved me.
During the time I was waiting for my ultra sound result, I went online to check on Joey and Rory, a couple who I have been following for a while. I feel very much like I can relate to them because they are a husband and wife duo who write songs, play instruments, and travel and sing together. (For new readers, Steve and I traveled full-time fifteen years, recording CD’s and doing concerts in about 30 states.)
I knew that Joey (the wife) had had cancer last year and after surgery was considered to be cured. Last week though, Rory wrote that Joey’s cancer had aggressively returned and they were stopping treatment and coming home. I hadn’t realized what kind of cancer she’d had so I read back a few posts and saw that it was cervical cancer.
In light of the fact that I am a breast cancer survivor and was waiting on results from an ovarian cancer ultra sound, that piece of knowledge brought so many tears. I just felt drawn to them and so inspired by the beauty of their relationship and the depth of their love and their Christian faith
A couple of years ago, before Joey had even been diagnosed with cancer, she recorded a song a friend had written for her dying mother. Here’s some background about the song. (From theboot.com)
“When I’m Gone” features a stellar performance from Joey on the sensitive ballad that finds a wife telling her husband “You’ll be ok when I’m gone.”
“I was devastated, absolutely devastated when I heard it and what it meant and coming from the person who is leaving their loved one,” says Joey. “That concept was just something that I had never heard or thought of before and it really struck me.”
The song was written by Joey’s friend Sandy Lawrence. “It came from one of my dearest friends who never had a cut,” Joey says. “She wrote that song by herself and she wrote it about her mother who was dying. She was watching her mother pass, and she was so badly needing her mother to tell her those words. She needed affirmation that everything was going to be okay after her mom died and she wasn’t able to get it from her, but she wanted to write this to leave to her son and to her husband and to let them know that if anything were to ever happen, everything is going to be okay when I’m gone. It just knocked me out. When we recorded it, it was just magical. She came in while we were recording it in the studio and then I had her sing the harmony vocals on it with Rory and then when we shot the music video, it just seemed so fitting that she played the piano.”
To listen to that amazingly written and performed song now, in light of what they are facing, is poignant beyond words. It’s one of those much-needed songs that gives you the chance for a good, healthy cry, especially if you’ve lost a parent or someone else dear to you and need to give yourself space to cry and to grieve.
But as I said earlier, it’s not just a sad song–it is an inspiring, love song that makes you feel weepy and yet hopeful because you are reminded that love endures beyond everything–even death.
Rory is also a gifted videographer and has done some videos of their lives together. This is one of my favorites, filmed during a season of treatment when they stayed at a hotel between chemo infusions. Joey continued to work on their Hymns album, even between infusions. Such an inspiration.
As I begin this new week rejoicing in the fact that I am (relatively) healthy and that my near future is not going to consist of surgeries, and chemos, and medical hardships, my heart especially goes out to Joey and Rory and their sweet family.
The love that ties them together, even in those most difficult of times, humbles and blesses me.
I am living life this week in honor of Joey–her music, her smile, her faith–and all my other sweet, brave cancer sisters whose lives turned out to be shorter than the hopes of all those who loved them.
Note: There is going to be prayer vigil for Joey on November 5 at 8 p.m. EST.
I’m glad your tests have not come up with anything of a huge problem thus far, and I am thinking about you as well as praying for you. You and yours have been through SO much.
The Rory/Joey story was heartwrenching. What particularly was so admiring was that these are folks who aren’t just praying and hanging on an outcome that they so want (that we always so want).. They want the grace and strength to deal with whatever it might be in recognition that God’s will and way, or the just the way of the world is such that things do not turn out the way one so hopes and what we all think is deserved. When I read or hear or learn of these terrible situations faced by wonderful people, my faith is so tested, and I’m afraid I am not so strong as to not harbor the doubts and want only one outcome. Why would anyone be put in that position? This story is particularly poignant as this is a family on the crest of dreams coming true, a new baby, one who will need some extra support and care, a young woman who should have many more years, and so much to give to her family and the world. The pain inflicted with her condition is just unbearably huge. What rationale can any of us come up with about this. And though, yes, a miracle is possible, likely not. Such cases happen more often than we hear about them, and the reason the medical verdict is grim is because most of the time, the result is death. Even if this case becomes a shining example of a miracle, it simply does not explain, the tragedies that such cases do endure, and leads to the questions as to why such miracles happen and why they do not. Clearly any such answers are beyond our earthly comprehension.
How Steve comforts, handles these great tragedies, I cannot even begin to comprehend either. How on earth can one make this better?
Cath,
You ask such good, poignant, hard, and insightful questions. We have asked them ourselves over the years, especially after Sarah survived her cancer when so many children with the same cancer did not survive.
As pastors, we do have to counsel with people who are going through incredibly difficult things and try to answer their unanswerable questions. It is the most heartbreaking thing about pastoring.
I agree with you–I so admire the way Rory and Joey are handling this; asking for a miracle, yes, but also asking for the ability to handle whatever happens, trusting God with whatever future is in front of them.
Heartbreaking. Inspiring.
I just don’t understand it all sometimes. I just have to pray. Especially for Joey and Rory. I firmly believe that the ones that leave never miss a thing of what is happening here with the ones left behind. It is the ones left to battle on that need to know it will be okay and that song is a true gift.
Mary,
Yes, I agree. That song is a gift. Beautifully written and captures the hearts of all of us who have lost people we love.
Thanks so much for sharing that song. Just lost my sister to that cancer last week. She was a single mom and I’m working to put my own grave site will help her kids Get on their feet. I keep telling them they will be OK.
Oh Janet, I’m sorry!
To lose a sister is to lose a part of who you are because you have had them in your life longer than just about anyone else. Her children are fortunate to have your love and encouragement. God’s grace to you as you grieve together.
I too continue to follow Joey + Rory and lift them in prayer. They have inspired me for several years -stumbling across them on Gauthers or another channel and I was hooked. Then I found them online and have been following since. Their story is one that resonates inside and is relatable by many – just affecting our hearts just a little differently. Praying for peace that only God offers and acceptance of His will.
Thank you for your beautiful words Becky…. They truly fill gaps that some of us leave out in our thoughts….
Beth,
What a perfect way to describe Joey and Rory’s story–one that resonates and affects our hearts just a little differently. Beautifully said.
I also have been following them, I was so shocked when I read that her cancer was no longer treatable. So sad, a young new mother and wife. Their beliefs will help them through but still so sad.
Lesley,
The saddest part for me is thinking about explaining to that sweet little daughter where her mommy is. No words.
Although they are a very small comfort, I’m glad that through the years to come, the family will have all those videos and musical recordings of Joey. Her lovely heart will shine on.
I too follow them. One of my favorite songs they sing is “That’s important to me.” I will be praying, along with millions of others, on Thursday night. Please Jesus, surprise us with this one…..and give them both peace.
Angela,
I love that song, too. Both simple and profound, highlighting things we tend to overlook and undervalue in a modern world.
Beautiful. Prayers for all. Got the request for Joey from a Southern Gospel artist last week. Thanks for the video and explanation. Hugs my sister.
Ann,
Hugs right back!
Love you Becky….and I live your heart! I’ve not commented much….BUT you’ve been much on my heart and in your prayers!
I’ve also been praying much for Joey/Rory and their precious family! Praying for strength, peace and comfort…regardless of the outcome…..HE remains!!!
Love ya,
Kim
Kim,
So nice to see your name! I know you’ve been busy with grand kids, a new job, and your surgery. No worries about not commenting–I’m just glad when you take a few moments to pop on by here. 🙂
Love,
Becky