Well, ladies and gents, this is Wedding Week. Strap in and hang on!
Let me just start by saying that if this wedding were entirely up to me, the decorations would consist of one grocery floral arrangement plopped down at the front of the sanctuary and one platter of Ritz crackers and Cheez Whiz plopped down at the back of the reception hall. (Don’t laugh! That’s what Steve and I served at our wedding reception.)
I have to confess to you that I reached my limit last week. I was teetering along, holding it all together pretty well, but the stress and worries of Sarah’s situation, and all the appointments, and hospital trips, and ER visits, and her not eating and crying, and feeling miserable every day, and all of us worried if she would even be up to a wedding topped off with the actual wedding prep was all getting to be a bit much. (Yes, that was a run-on sentence but sometimes only a run-on sentence will do.)
I finally had a big ol’ cry fest at the hotel last Monday night and for a moment the roles were reversed. The strong woman who for two months had been fighting for her daughter like a mama bear suddenly found herself on the receiving end of a strong daughter’s comfort–comforting words, comforting hugs, comforting permission to not be strong all the time.
When you think about where we were eight weeks ago, the journey to this day is mind-boggling.
On April 23, Gage and Sarah walked into the living room holding CT results outlining numerous places in her body that were “highly suspicious for malignancy.” I spent days and days grieving for her. I didn’t know how she would survive what looked to be metastasized cancer. And to find out just weeks before her wedding? Too much.
Then the whole journey followed with the fevers, two inpatient stays, four ER trips, medical reports, doctor’s calls, alarming blood counts, and the final diagnosis of a desmoid tumor that has no treatment. And to plan a wedding at the same time? Too much again.
The morning after my cry fest, I did two things before we left the hotel.
I took a picture of the last room we would share as mother and daughter before her marriage.
And I looked at both tubes of mascara and selected the waterproof one. I’ve been trying to use up my non-waterproof tube of mascara but lately, it’s not been cutting the mustard.
After getting Sarah’s ultrasound and eating breakfast, we did a little shoe shopping.
This picture just grabs my heart whenever I see it.
In the foreground–her regular old, daily wear sandals. And everywhere else, all around, the beginnings of the bride-to-be. (The waterproof mascara got a workout.)
As we got back in the car with our purchases, I was still feeling wobbly and teary-eyed. I was emotional from the past few hours and overwhelmed because I knew how many things still had to be done for the wedding.
About that time, Meagan called. We chit-chatted for a few minutes and then she said, “Kristin and I were just talking and we wondered how you felt about sending us the names and contact info of all the people in your church who are wanting to help. If you’d like, we will organize everything (set up, clean up, serving, etc) from here.
Well, that just did me in. I burst into tears–this time tears of gratefulness and relief. To have part of my load shifted onto sturdier shoulders was wonderful.
I still have plenty to do with a never-ending to-do list. I’m working on graphics for the wedding, the program cover, the screens, the slideshow, table markers, seating charts, ordering supplies, keeping things flowing, and trying to think of big and small details that might get overlooked. Not to mention a house that desperately needs to be cleaned.
But to have the big picture handled by energetic, knowledgeable wedding pros was fabulous. And they were already doing an incredible amount of stuff before that call. The two of them have been absolutely amazing.
The other help that has come our way is beyond words. My list of thanksgivings is miles long.
Here are just a few of many examples:
ONE Saturday afternoon I was wrestling with table assignments for over an hour and becoming fully convinced that there was no possible solution. Right in the middle of my puzzlement, Meagan called to check in to see how everything was going. I told her my predicament, shared the Google doc with her and in ten minutes, she had the whole thing whipped into place, coming up with solutions that wouldn’t have occurred to me in a hundred years of ponderments.
TWO A few days ago, the tablecloths I had ordered arrived. I looked at one of them and thought, “Well, that looks wrinkled” and then stuck it back in the box because I couldn’t deal with the thought of ironing fifteen table cloths. A few hours later, Cindy, our church administrator texted me and said, “Do you have any tablecloths to iron?”
Cindy has also been a huge help in thinking through thorny problems that, in my current overwhelmed state, quickly boggle my thought process. She is logical and organized and things that seem unsolvable in my brain magically become unraveled in hers.
THREE I have a dear friend, Cheryl, who has lived 90 minutes away up until recently when she and her husband retired from pastoring and moved into an RV. They are traveling the country and speaking in Russian churches. (Cheryl and Buddy lived in Russia for four years and have always had a heart for its people.)
It just so happens that they were scheduled to speak at our church the day after the wedding so they are parking their RV with us all week. As soon as they pulled in, Cheryl was working on ways to help. She has cooked two meals so far. She has run all sorts of helpful errands and even better than that, she is a wonderful and empathetic listener.
(And a little side note: Cheryl’s son and two daughters got married within nine months of each other. She is unflappable.)
Cheryl’s mother-in-law is temporarily staying in the area and Cheryl borrowed her lodgings to cook for Steve’s birthday. It was so great to be able to celebrate Steve but not have to host it myself.
Here are a few photos from that fun night.
We forgot the birthday hat so Cheryl asked Gage and Sarah to create one.
Voila!
(There is a birthday guy under there somewhere.)
And here our wonderful, wonderful hosts: Buddy and Cheryl Denton.
Steve wanted coconut for his birthday but several of us don’t like coconut so Cheryl got creative and made a dessert that was half and half. As I said, unflappable.
If you haven’t listened to the Beatles song, “When I’m 64” lately, you need to stop what you’re doing and listen. Brilliant and quirky and fun. Buddy played it on his phone and Steve did the accompanying dance.
did I already tell you that Dr. Driscoll and his wife are coming to the wedding? If I haven’t, I’m telling you now. We are so excited!
Even though it was stressful because of the unknowns, Sarah’s and my trip to Duke last Wednesday actually turned out to be a special time together. Every mile marked the message that this was our last big chunk of time together before the wedding and we treasured each one.
The only tough part of it was that as we got nearer and nearer to Duke, I could feel the weight of the pending appointment settling down on Sarah’s shoulders and as I glanced over, I saw tears on her face.
The last thing a young woman wants to be doing ten days before her wedding is going to an appointment with a Duke oncologist. Before we got out of the car, we held hands and prayed and as we walked across the parking garage, she reached out and took my hand again. I said, “I’m so glad you’re not too old to hold my hand in public.” She just smiled, a smile made even sweeter because it was birthed out of recent tears.
On the way home, she slept quite a while, still not up to full strength. But during the last thirty minutes, driving through the rain at dusk, she woke up and we talked about all the big and small things in our hearts, sometimes with laughter, sometimes with tears, watching the journey wind its way to a close.
And then to our great delight, about fifteen miles from home, we saw a shining, sparkling rainbow right in front of us–a promise of better days to come.
After pulling into the driveway, we sat in the car for a while, crying, smiling, remembering, looking forward.
Next week at this time, she will be on her honeymoon. Her sweet room where she has lived for eleven years will be empty–not just for a while but for always.
I can’t help but think back to when I first saw that CT scan eight weeks ago, back when I was imagining her room being always empty for another reason.
And today I give thanks that the reason for the upcoming emptiness is not a passing away from life but a going forward into life–into new chapters, new dreams, new love.
Here it is wedding eve…I checked your weather and see it will be a beautiful day – blessings on all of you and enjoy every moment!
Hey, it’s … Wedding Day! (I am in England, so it’s already 22 May here) – sending all our love and best wishes for a wonderful day for you all. We sent a card but I know it won’t get there in time, but we will be thinking of you all! Juliet said to me today ‘it’s Sarah’s wedding day TOMORROW!’ and we had a little moment to ourselves, thinking of this day which means the world…
Juliet’s wedding day is Sunday 23! the day after Sarah’s.
Our love across the ocean, Teresa and Juliet xxx
Teresa,
I am so touched that you and Juliet would take the time to stop and think about Sarah’s wedding. I hope Juliet’s wedding was wonderful–made even more unique by the pink Wellies!
Thinking about you all and praying for you! One thing I am praying is that even in all the busyness of tomorrow and Saturday you will be able to really take things in and enjoy the days! Blessings on you!!
Hope all is going smoothly (haha) as you head towards Wedding Day!! Will be throwing rice/birdseed for the special couple here in Ohio! I may even get some cheez whiz and crackers to celebrate! Wishing the happy couple, their friends and family all the best in this new chapter!
Becky, thank you for taking the time to update your friends with honest messages delivered straight from the heart. Continuing to pray for Sarah’s healing. Looking forward to wedding photos. Love to you, Pastor Steve, Sarah, Gage, Nathan & family
So excited for the wedding of these two gentle souls, don’t forget to post where we can watch it. Love to you all on this beautiful and very busy wedding week.
I’m so excited for Sarah and Gage and their wedding week! I imagine there is much fluttering and flittering going on right now!
I just don’t bother with non waterproof mascara anymore. Too much potential for unexpected raccoon eye. 🤣
Have you mentioned where the lovely couple is heading for their honeymoon??
Ellen,
They spent two nights at a lovely hotel locally and then yesterday left for the mountains of NC for five days.
Being the MOB is difficult under the best of circumstances, and during the turbulent times that your family has faced recently, the pressure is unimaginable. Fortunately, God has made our bodies in such a way that they know when to cry. Your tears are nature’s cleansing, pressure valve. Let them come out and do their magic when you need to cry. I always look forward to Mrs. Pam’s comments, and her quote from the Psalms today was perfect. When you and Pastor Steve are sitting together at Sarah’s wedding, you will be able to hear God’s voice say, “Well done good and faithful servants.” We love y’all, Fred & Lucy
Fred and Lucy,
Yes, I am very grateful for the tears that come along when needed.
I enjoy Mrs. Pam’s comments, too!
What an exciting week – I loved the picture you posted on Facebook of the new (albeit temporary) addition to your living room. Prayers that this week is everything you dreamed of for Sarah and that she dared dream for herself. I can’t wait to see all the wonderful photos of this special time.
I think after the wedding, everyone is going to sleep for a week!
Love hearing how God is working in your plans daily, even if it is to have someone call and take care of a table cloth that needs ironing.
Praying that all goes well at the wedding.
So awesome to read that Dr. Driscoll will be at the wedding..so special.
Becky… “Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.” psalm 126:5
Here’s to a very joyful wedding!
I can feel the emotion through your post – thank you for sharing so much! This has been like one of the best “books” to read. It has been a real page turner and I feel like the next “chapter” is going to be the best one yet 🙂 Love the happiness in Sarah’s face in the pic…that is all what she should be feeling right now 🙂
Monique,
I’ve often thought through the years that reading someone’s blog is very much like reading a book . . . with each chapter written in real time.
So happy the wedding plans are coming together and that Sarah is feeling better! It’s awesome you have so many special people helping you out! I know Sarah will have a beautiful wedding! I am so excited for all of you! Remember don’t sweat the small stuff. Things have a way of working out. As the pastor said at the rehearsal prior to my daughters’s wedding earlier this month” as long as they leave here married, the wedding was a success”. She s right!
I am surprised you have not totally collapsed before all of this. You are a warrior and cannot imagine what you would be doing if you did not have a relationship with the Lord. So thankful for all those who are helping you and Sarah. What a blessing. I so love your last sentence. Please try to relax a bit and enjoy this day for Sarah that you thought might never come. You are a blessing!
You write so beautifully. I can feel all of the emotions through your words. I love to read all of your posts, happy, sad, and the day to day stuff. You all have been on an out of control emotional rollercoaster these past few weeks. I’m so glad the doctor gave Sarah good news and the wedding week can go in as planned. Happy wedding week and God bless you all!
How wonderful to be surrounded by such loving, thoughtful friends and family, you are truly blessed. I cannot wait to see the pictures…..what an exciting week,I remember the week before my wedding, we had family coming in from all over the country, it was SO exciting and special….
Thanks for your blogs and for inviting us into your lives.
It is awesome and I’m sure often not easy to record the
happenings during this Smith Family Journey.
Our hearts are saddened with your struggles and inspired
with your blessings.
Bob and I are praying for a most beautiful wedding day for a most beautiful and special young lady.
Diane,
Always good to hear from you. I still have your recipe for Armenian bread!
Thank you for the prayers and the love through the years.
Sometimes a good cry is just what you need. Sounds like you have some great help in Meagan, Kristin, Cheryl, Cindy and all the people from church. Great news that Dr. Driscoll and his wife are coming to the wedding.
Prayers for a calm, peaceful rest of the week leading up to the wedding! Sarah will be a beautiful bride.
Thank you for taking the time to update your fans! What an emotional post to write and to read. God is faithful. How neat to hear of so many people chipping in to help!
I love that you and Sarah had that special time together and that you can comfort each other. Even without all of the recent medical concerns, marrying off a beloved child is full of emotion—much more-so than I ever imagined (our two daughters are married; two sons not yet)–so your very heightened emotions are totally understandable.
I am thrilled to read that Sarah is feeling better. One of my prayers is that you will all be able to enjoy this week and the wedding!!
Many blessings on you all!
DeLynn,
Thank you for your encouraging words and prayers. Yes, having a daughter be married is an emotional journey like no other. So many emotions knit together.
Blessing to all in this wedding week. I pray it is a fabulous event.
Patti–thank you.
It’s going to feel strange when it’s all over.
Happy wedding week!
I am sitting in our room at the Shepherds Inn at the Billy Graham training center in Asheville. We just arrived for a four day Fundraising conference.
Sarah looks amazing in the pictures. Glowing I would say! Praying for a beautiful wedding day. And good health!
I am headed to Florida on Thursday but hope to watch the wedding as well.
God bless Gage and Sarah! Excited for their sweet life together!
Buff
Buff,
I love the BG training center. That’s the area Sarah and Gage are headed for their honeymoon.
Glowing is definitely a good word for our bride-to-be!
Sarah looks amazing in the photo. She looks like she’s glowing with good health. Or perhaps it’s great love. What a team she and Gage are! The birthday hat they created must have taken them hours and hours. Or not.
Please remind yourself frequently that, no matter what detail is or is not handled before the wedding, when the say “I do,” they’re still married. And that’s all that counts, isn’t it?
Or not.
Jan,
I was just talking to Meagan about our A list, B list, and C list in order of importance of getting things done.
I think saying “I do” falls somewhere near that A list!
Happy Wedding Week Sarah and Gage!!
Praying for God’s blessings on your marriage.
With Love,
Heather
Heather,
It’s been a happy wedding week so far!
The blessing and timing of everyone helping is just amazing and God’s hand, for sure. I am so grateful and thankful that Sarah’s empty room will be a whole new, wonderful chapter for her. Happy wedding week!!
Lee Anne,
An empty room–but one filled with happy memories. Grateful.
I’m so excited for all of you! As hard as new chapters can be, the glory of God shines through each of you!
Thank you, Tammy, for your encouragement.
What a plethora of blessings is evident in this post! Praying and praising with you!
Happy Wedding Week!!
Suzanne,
Thank you for the prayers. And thank you for using plethora. A wonderful word that is underused!
Sarah looks great! So glad you have an abundance of help and had that special time with Sarah. Love the birthday hat 🙂 It will be a glorious wedding day.
Lesley,
She does look good, doesn’t she? She makes more and more progress every day.
What a wonderful post and a very exciting time! I am so happy you have so many helpful people to assist wi the wedding. I know the wedding will be spectacular and so looking forward to watching it online. I know I won’t be the only person with tears streaming down my face!
Cindy,
Can’t wait to “see” you on Saturday!
God is so good and faithful…..I cannot wait for this wedding!
Cindy,
You and me, both!
Eyes leaking all over the place here! I so wish I were close by to help and beyond grateful with you for the reason the room will be empty.
The pic of the shoes. In hindsight, I’d wear white sneakers, lol1 Love the Merrell sandals.
Guerrina,
Our nephew’s wife DID wear tennis shoes with sparkles on her wedding day. So cute!
Praising Jesus with you!
Angela,
Thank you. Lots to be praise-ful about.