Before I get into the post, I want to mention that Nathan and Meagan celebrated 15 years of marriage last week. For those who have been around since their wedding, you probably agree it’s incredible how fast those years passed. What a joy to celebrate two lovely and beloved people and the family they have created.
I just realized all their wedding photos are on our other computer so I will share a photo of their younger selves instead. Happy 15 years!
My younger sister, Ruth, texted last week and said she was going through a big minimalist phase and clearing a lot of items out of her house.
She sent a photo of some of the results of her efforts.
I asked if she was having a yard sale, and she replied, “None of those things are for sale. A neighbor owns a grassy spot by the town hall, and she set it up as a place for people to put out items they no longer need. Since Garden Valley is the name of our township, the grassy spot has been nicknamed The Garden Valley Goodwill.”
Isn’t that such a great idea? Cleaning out your house, blessing your neighbors, and maintaining a fun rural ritual, all at the same time. Love it!
I asked if I could share a couple of photos of her newly acquired neatness. So orderly. It makes my soul say, “Ahhhhh.”
After I finished texting with her, I thought with dismay about our basement, which is still far from being usable, with boxes and belongings stacked hither and yon, almost four years after moving in. And I feel powerless to even begin, feel like it’s an impossible task.
But then I think that if someone said they would give Steve and me two million dollars if we had the basement cleaned out in a week, we would make it happen. And that means it is possible. And we should do it. But have we? Nope. (Note: we have made some progress, culling things down by about 30% so we deserve a teeny, tiny gold medal.)
I have spent 17 years of my life living full-time in RVs that were 450 sq. feet or less. (A couple of them were much less.) During some of that time, Steve and I lived in an RV with Randy and Debbie, and Nathan as a newborn. Do you think I had extra clutter? No. I had no choice. My collecting of things was curtailed by my lack of available space.
There is something called “Parkinson’s Law” that describes the tendency for household possessions to multiply and fill all available storage. No matter how large a home or closet is, belongings will naturally accumulate until every space is full.
Considering the fact that families are smaller now than they were decades ago, that means we should have plenty of space for everything, right? Not so much.
I grew up in a large, poor family, and we always lived in small, not-so-inspiring homes. I was perfectly fine there and perfectly fine in teeny RVs. So why am I having a hard time where I am? Why are my closets stuffed and my basement even more so?
To my credit, I have made it an ongoing project to keep paring down, especially when it comes to my clothes. This is my entire collection of clothes I wear to work; I have three dresses that get rotated in there, as well. My closet is a third the size of the one I had in Manteo, and it is a good challenge for me to make it work. (I store off-season clothes in the closets in the guest rooms.)
I’m not writing about all of this because I have any answers; it’s just a conversation I wanted to have because I’d already been thinking about it, and then when Ruth texted, it kind of blossomed into a whole post.
I’ll close with a couple of pictures that tie into my subject: the first one is of Ruth’s granddaughter, Keziah, sitting quietly with a book at Ruth’s house.
It reminded me so much of another photo, taken a few years back at another window in Ruth’s living room. It’s Keziah’s great-grandma, and my mom, Jo Ann Campbell. (My mom lived with Ruth and Arnold in the last years of her life.)
There are so many beautiful examples Mom left behind–not just her love of books but her love of reading the Bible.
She lived life in a way I truly admire, holding lightly to things, possessions, belongings.
I was talking to someone at work about cleaning out our homes so we don’t leave the burden of it to our children when we’re gone. I happened to mention that it was pretty easy cleaning out after my Mom died because she basically had nothing.
My colleague was utterly astounded at that very idea. And to be honest, you don’t hear that much these days.
But Mom lived simply and was perfectly content. She had a small cupboard with her clothes, which took us about thirty minutes to go through after her passing.
And she had her beloved books, many of them filled with stories about missionaries, whom she prayed for frequently and supported faithfully out of her meager funds.
I’m not recommending that we all reach the ends of our lives with the small number of possessions Mom had. That was her life, and she was content with it. But I also don’t want to reach my last day with both fists clutching too tightly to too many things.
The Bible says, “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” If every moment and thought is dedicated to acquiring more and more, our hearts are being pulled from the view of heavenly things.
I just need to try and find the balance for my own life and, in the back of my mind, keep Mom’s humble cupboard in view, filled only with a few items of clothing and the essence of a simple life well lived.
What about you?
Are you a minimalist, a maximalist or somewhere in between?
What is your biggest challenge in managing your possessions?
What advice have you learned along the way that you’d like to share?
I’m a die hard minimalist – maybe a bit too much so 😅. Clutter makes me feel antsy and anxious. Everytime I consider buying something I ask myself, “do I want to have to move this out someday?” Or, “do I want my mom/son to have to sort through this some day?” I have a 1000sq ft home and have resisted the urge to fill all of the storage spaces.
My significant other (never married, never thought he would) is the absolute opposite. He has spent 20 years in the same home and packed it to the brim (mostly with cool stuff like antique radios and antique TVs and pinball machines and typewriters – you’d find many great photo opportunities in his house! – but it’s still a lo-o-ot!). We would like to marry and combine homes one day, but it’s been a long, arduous journey for him to pare down his possessions to make it possible!
My mom is 72 and decluttering her own home for my eventual benefit, which I consider to be an act of love. It will make a painful task, when I’ll be grieving, easier. ♥️
Ellen,
That would be interesting for you and your SO to combine households–a minimalist and a non-minimalist! Sounds like something they could make a TV special out of. 🙂
He does sound like he has a lot of cool stuff and I’m sure my camera and I could wander happily through it for several hours. It would be extra hard for someone to pare down things that they have collected and loved for many years.
Good for you in not filling all of your storage spaces. It almost feels like you can breathe a little easier when every nook and cranny isn’t jammed. And kudos to your mom for showing her love in such a practical way. The best gift!
Happy anniversary to Meagan and Nathan!
Like others share in the comments, and like you and Steve, my spouse is a keeper of things, and I am not. Too often I’ve donated, or tossed something we hadn’t used in YEARS, and he goes looking for it.
I’m going to try Stefanie’s idea for dealing with the kitchen stuff. Shouldn’t be too hard, since I’m the one who’s more in charge of that area.
I’m 62, but am always thinking about how I don’t want to leave stuff for my kids to deal with. That type of thinking doesn’t cross my husband’s mind.
My mom kept all sorts of knick knacks, and was quite an artist – delicate china painting. She passed 10 years ago, but my dad still has all of her creations that she didn’t gift to others. Call me crazy, but it’s just not my style. I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with the stuff when he passes. Hmmmm,….
BTW, I’m from central Ohio, but this weekend am in Greensboro, NC. Wow, the trees and hills are big down here!!
Ann,
Welcome to NC! I’m glad you got here after we got rain and everythinkg is so green. I love North Carolina’s tree!
Yes, that is definitely challenging when a lot of things are being saved for you to deal with after your dad passes. Hopefully you will find someone who loves your mom’s style of art who would enjoy having some of those pieces.
That’s so funny that your husband goes looking for things you haven’t used in years. I can relate!
It’s funny to me how we reach a certain age and begin to evaluate our homes in terms of our children cleaning them out.
I too have spent some time, after my kids moved out, clearing out. I have a trunk in my bedroom full of memorabilia that I have saved. Baby clothes that are special to me, cards, programs from weddings and funerals (I guess they’re a called programs), and other items that I thought our children will enjoy looking through one day. A few months ago both kids were at the house together and I was looking for something in that trunk when my daughter happened into my room. She saw the plethora of items filling the trunk and asked about it. I explained that I was saving things for her and her brother to look through one day. She called him in and told him to look at it. He nodded at the trunk and she said, “okay, you can throw all of that out now.” She was joking, sort of, but I was reminded that they are not sentimental like I am.
The trunk remains and one day, I hope she and her brother will enjoy the stroll down memory lane.
I am in between minimalist and hoarder, depending on the items. I love clothes and enjoy wearing different clothes. When I was still teaching, my kids noticed that I never wore the same outfit twice in a school year. I never intended that to be the case, I just have a lot of clothes and wore them. I did a huge clothing purge when I retired and have a much smaller closet now. Your post this week has given me pause to consider another purge…tomorrow.
Blessings!
Lisa
Lisa,
Yes, that first line is so true. The “certain age” comes to us all.
That’s funny about your daughter saying, “Okay, you can throw it all out now.” Even though she was kidding-a little. I wonder if it’s true that each succeeding generation gets less and less sentimental. I’ll have to think about that.
I love clothes too, and wish I had more, but for now I am making the best of my small supply. I’d never want a huge supply but a medium supply would be lovely.
Enjoy knowing that you have many happy memories stored at the foot of your bed! 💕
“Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” I love that! I have way too much stuff. I am often getting rid of things. But I still have too much. We have an almost 2000 sq ft home for just my husband, me and our 2 dogs. 4 bedrooms full of stuff. It’s bonkers to me. I mean, it’s organized (mostly) and tidy (also mostly) so I guess it’s not TOO TOO much. My MIL has become somewhat of a hoarder. She doesn’t keep actual trash but her house is filled to the max with junk. She has always held on to wayyyyyy too much stuff she will never use but the past year or so she has fallen in love with online auctions, estate sales, yard sales, all the sales. Her house is so full that her THREE porches have come to be storage areas as well. And she has a very large shop completely full as well as her pretty big barn too! She does still have room for her horses and their stuff so the barn isn’t too bad, YET! 🤣 She says “If I live for many more years it will all be gone by the time I die but if I die soon-ish, y’all will just have to deal with it all.” Gee thanks Mama! 😜🤣
I am all for people keeping things they truly love or that has memories attached or that is useful, but keeping crap you don’t even like is silly to me.
And now I want to go through my whole house and get rid of stuff again! Thanks Becky for this excellent motivation!
Lizz,
It’s amazing how belongings can creep up on all of us so gradually.
I think your MIL might be a good example of Parkinson’s Law that I mentioned in this post. If there was 7,000 square feet available, I wonder if she (or any of us) would wind up filling it up. I hope not!
And then I look back at those photos of Ruth’s streamlined house (my sister, Debbie, is also very tidy) and I think how peaceful it is for them to have clean spaces to rest their eyes on. There is something to be said for simplicity but it’s still fun to hit a good consignment store and find some treasures. Sometimes hard to find a good balance. But I keep trying!
It’s such
I love Keziah’s little chair! And also the photos of both her and your sweet mama reading by a window. I’m definitely a maximalist – I keep some things for sentimental and others because “what if I need them?” (Although the bigger question would be could I even find it if I need it – I just found my glue gun this afternoon and it’s been MIA since December – I’ll take the small victory!)
The fifteen years Nate & Meagan have been married have sure flown by ~ and what a lovely family they have created.
I hope you and yours have a wonderful week!!
Sue Ellen,
I know; isn’t that chair darling?
And congrats on finding your glue gun after 8 months. I’ll be your had quite the celebration! I lost our dogs thunder coats 6 months ago and still can’t find them.
And yes, it is the sentimental things that are the hardest to make decisions on–pictures, papers, cards. I’ve started taking photos of special greeting cards and then throwing the card away. (Unless it’s a hand made one by Gage.)
Your “trash” is someone else’s treasure!!! Maybe that’s why I love thrift stores!
Sharyn,
Hooray for thrift stores!I don’t go as much anymore because of my long work hours but I do love to putter around one from time to time. Hope you find a treasure next time you’re out.
My, so refreshing to read Stefanie’s comments. Good ideas in there.
I don’t think I know any minimalist- just read about them.
Often in a marriage, one is a keeper, one is not.
I agree , there is a sense of being light and free when you have less.
We are only passing through this world…
Ruth
Ruth,
I love gleaning wisdom and insight from the comments that come in.
And that is true about marrying opposites; I would get rid of things constantly but Steve is more likely to want to hold on to them.
Happy Anniversary to Nathan and Megan.
Love the little child sized chair Keziah is sitting in.
I am a maximalist trying to downsize. I have gotten rid of a lot of stuff recently. Since I had no kids, and my husbands family wouldn’t want my stuff, I have been selling my old toys and giving family items to my niece and anyone else who asks. I have never had nice empty rooms, but even as a child I would look at the rooms in the sears catalog and wish I had a room like that.
My biggest challenge is giving away a memory. I look at an item and it draws me to good memories and I hate to part with said item then. I also like the antiquity of some items and enjoy looking at them. Fortunately we have a large storage room in our basement. We can use half of the basement and store in the other half.
My advice on clothes (most of which I get cheap at a thrift shop) is when you get a new item of clothes, get rid of a item of clothes that is past it’s prime or not worn as frequently.
Patti,
Good for you for undertaking the job of getting rid of things! It’s true–those old catalogs made every room look so neat and pared down. I used to linger over those photos, too.
I agree. It’s incredibly hard to know what to do with things that bring back memories. Although I have to think that we would remember whatever memory it is even without the item;if we get rid of it, the memory isn’t gone, too. We’ve got a lot of things in the basement in the “memory category” and we are going to have to deal with it some point.
Good luck to us, and to you too, as we all continue the journey toward living with less.
I love the photos of the two readers. ♥️
I’m a minimalist, married to a keeper (he’s definitely a keeper, but he keeps things that I would toss). Lol
But we do this: once a year—generally between Christmas and the New Year— we go through our kitchen and take inventory of things we use daily/frequently/rarely. And we put the “rarely” things in a box in the basement. The next year, whatever is still in that box, untouched, we donate. It’s a cycle!
Also – having spent part of my adult life as a military spouse, I’m accustomed to boxes and boxes of stuff that sometimes never got unpacked between frequent moves. There was ONE box that moved into six houses and never got opened. To this day, I don’t remember what was in it. But I figured if it hadn’t been opened in 8 years there was nothing in it I needed or wanted. So it got tossed.
I do have one box of “things” that I love or that mean something to me that nobody else in this world would care about. That box stays with me until I die, and my daughter knows she will simply throw it away that day, without opening it.
We will be retiring to the UK in about two years, and probably taking only what will fit into four checked bags. Looking around this house it’s daunting to think of getting rid of our accumulated stuff but I’m so looking forward to the lightness of having so little.
Stefanie,
That is so funny about that “one box.” The famous box! The moved-6-times box! The discarded-without-opening-box! Love it.
Cleaning out the kitchen once a year is a great idea. A kitchen is a room that is so prone to just gathering stuff: ingredients, cooking utensils, small appliances and gadgets, all which seem necessary at the time, but 6 months later, are hardly being used. You and your “keeper husband” are doing a good job keeping stuff pared down.
I love your closing line about “The lightness of having so little.” My sister Ruth’s house burned down many years ago and although she did feel some grief, she said there was an unusual feeling of enjoying being unencumbered by belongings. I think the two of you would get along well!